HOLDING ON, Letting Go

BFA SEnior ExhibitIon

Growing up in a small town in the South, there was not much to do to keep my attention as a little girl. When I was not running around the yard getting myself into trouble, I was doodling on every piece of paper in the house I could find. I was very rebellious as a child and my parents decided the best way to keep me out of trouble and keep my creative mind and busy hands distracted was to send me to my grandmother’s house. She was the only grandparent I had in my life and I was the only granddaughter, and this is what led me to walking to her house everyday, every summer for many years. It was at her house I learned to crochet, to sew, to make grilled cheese sandwiches, and to lick the spoon whenever I was given the opportunity. I collected many special memories with her in that house that I didn’t know that I would later miss.

As an artist, I have ideas and memories that keep coming back to me until they are addressed in some way. Painting or drawing a specific image allows me to convey a feeling that I want to include from my own experiences. With the passing of my grandmother I have learned how important all the little moments are and how hard they are to hang on too as time goes by. Producing art about these moments, whether they are painted or crocheted, allow me to live these moments all over again in a way that I will always remember.

INvitATION ONLY

Oil on canvas, 2024

Tea parties were exclusive,

Always just us two.

We might invite others

Like Wolfy and Winnie the Pooh.

It was still just us,

Eating Oreos and grilled cheese,

Enjoying the time we shared,

Treasuring times like these.

KEEP COMING BACK

Oil on linen, 2023

Like archangel nettle,

You keep coming back.

The sun beating down,

With bright greens and lilac.

You appear in my dreams

And stay on my mind.

As seasons change,

You, I will always find.

LEssons

Oil on paper, 2023

It started with crocheting,

But you taught me much more;

How to find joy in the little things

And how to go out and explore.

These lessons are priceless

And follow me wherever I go;

Lessons I didn’t anticipate

But ones that let me grow.

Tradition

Oil on paper, 2024

Baking with you

Was a recurring tradition.

We’d make fudge and cakes,

Always with love and ambition.

Every time we baked

You’d let me lick the spoon.

It was a tradition in itself,

A tradition gone too soon.

Like the gold around your ankle,

Your spirit was so bright.

Moments where you lit up

And sparkled in the light.

You would always make me smile

With the funny things you said.

You were as good as gold,

A light that continues to spread.

Good as Gold

Oil on canvas, 2023

Rearrange

Digital, 2024

Each piece has its place

I had things planned out.

I’m a creature of habit

Achieving things without doubt.

Then you went away,

You made everything change.

Things would never be the same.

You made me rearrange.

1975

Oil on linen, 2023

In the year of 1975,

This truck rolled off the line;

Destined for greatness

And sporting a new shine.

Driven by so many before

Each scratch and dent has a past.

Adventures and journeys

With memories built to last.

Delicate

Tender and fragile

Like softly draped lace.

My memories of you,

I try to keep in place.

Sometimes hard to see,

I try to make them clear.

Through the dense fog,

I wish you would appear.

Embroidery and hand-dyed fabric, 2023

undone

Looking back now,

I see the times we shared.

Perfect times falling apart,

Missing pieces that can’t be repaired.

I dwell on my regrets,

Things I should have done.

All the things left unsaid,

Unknown, unraveled, undone.

Crochet granny squares, 2022

Holding on, letting go

Oil on canvas, 2023

Thinking of times I held your hand,

So many of them in the past.

That feeling is so different now

When I know this time’s the last.

They say you’re in a better place,

But I’m left here still holding on.

Now I’m having to let you go,

Realizing now, you’re really gone.

missing

This first winter without you

Feels colder than the rest.

The harsh, freezing wind

Releasing thoughts once suppressed.

Haunted by empty spaces,

And the things belonged to you,

I focus on times complete

And the warmth shining through.

Digital, 2023

When time stood still

Digital, 2022

Time had been ticking by

That brisk early morning.

Walking into the room

My feelings were storming.

Nothing prepared me,

No one was at fault,

But when you were gone

Time came to a halt.

bittersweet

Oil on linen, 2022

Teacups and saucers

Once displayed with pride,

Now gently tucked away

In a cardboard box to hide.

Delicate and fragile

Like the memories that follow.

Then, brimming with color

Now, stained blue with sorrow.

pivotal

Despite all the bright light

Shining through the glass,

This day is so pivotal

No other moment can surpass.

Like a wilting flower,

Your spirit fades away.

With each crumbing petal,

Your departure is on display.

Oil on paper, 2023

Dear grandma

To my dear Grandma,

Nothing is the same nowadays.

But through every little change,

I will love you always.

I envision your smile,

Moments when you were near.

With all the stars in the sky,

I just wish you were here.

Oil on linen, 2023

This feeling

This feeling is unmatched,

Driving down a country road.

Thinking about this moment

As time suddenly slowed.

The sun shining through,

The warm breeze in my hair,

I feel connected to you

And know you’ll always be there.

Oil on paper, 2024

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